Allie’s Academie Journal, Day 5: Friday

It’s Friday. Usually I’d be ecstatic at the simple fact that it is a Friday. Not today. Not when I know that Friday is no different from any other day at The Academie. Okay, it’s slightly different. There won’t be classes this weekend. Instead, Robert says there will be “activities”. Robert’s interesting. He’s…kind of a flirt, but more like a kiss-up. He’s overly nice to everyone. But he looks at you in this way that makes you blush none-the-less. He makes me roll my eyes, but I like him. We’re forming our own little band of friends. I secretly think of it as my Academie support group. Ruby; Stevie; Stevie’s bunkmate, Shara; and now Robert. Shara’s interesting too. I’ve never known anyone like her. She talks different, acts different, totally does her own thing. It’s…weird. And admirable. She’s teaching Stevie and I to meditate. I’m pretty sure that I’m doing it all wrong, but I like it anyway.
Read More

Allie’s Academie Journal, Day 4: Bluebird

This Christina Perri song, Bluebird, just keeps running through my head. Just snippets of it, over and over… How the hell does a broken heart Get back together when it’s torn apart? Teach itself to start beating again… The rest of the song really has nothing to do with what’s going on in my life, but that part does. And it’s like the song knows, because it keeps running over and over and over again. Three years till I’m out of here. Three years. I can hardly comprehend how long that is when I think about being locked in this tiny space for all that time. Four years till I see him again. It took me that long to get through hell school–I mean high school (oops!), and that seemed like forever. And all I keep thinking is: what might life had been like if I could have my freedom and have Bryan too. But that’s impossible. If there were no Academie, there would be no Bryan in my life. Why does life always have to be like this? Can’t things ever go nice and easy? A perfect little fairy tale where I get to live happily ever after at the end? A peaceful life, without all the crazy chaos that is real life? Sounds like it’s time for me to head to bed. Apparently, I’m already dreaming.
Read More

Allie’s Academie Journal, Day 3: The Basics

When I was complaining about how hard my college classes were last fall, I never imagined that I’d have the opposite problem a year later. Basics. You’ve got to be kidding me. To a lazy person, this would probably sound like heaven. Friends in high school told me about jobs where you could just sit around all day and do nothing and get paid for it. But who wants to sit around and do nothing? Not me. But it’s worse than that. I’m not just doing nothing. Today I had to diagram sentences and review basic equations. And I couldn’t even express my distress because there was Stevie all the while, working hard in a class where apparently, she belongs. I don’t really get it. I don’t know her well yet, but she seems smart enough. I wonder what her story is? How is she always so happy? How did she end up waitressing instead of going to college? And how didn’t she get this basic stuff down pat before she left high school? And then there’s my bunkmate…
Read More

Allie’s Academie Journal, Day 2: half awake

The bed keeps shaking as Tina moves around. I don’t know what to think of her. She helped me out last night, but she doesn’t seem to like me. Since we’re going to be living together for who knows how long (do we ever change dorms or living station partners?), I’m thinking that we need to work on getting along. I’m not sure that she agrees. Thankfully, I didn’t fall out of my bunk last night. (Why are there no rails?) Of course, I also didn’t sleep. Not sure how I’m awake now–I wasn’t most of the day–but it’s like I’m overtired now and as much as I want to sleep, I feel like I need to get stuff out of my head. Everything is weird here. Not sure what to make of any of it. But I met this girl, Ruby, yesterday, and we seem to get along pretty good, and I met this other girl, Stevie, last night, and she smiles a lot, which does seem to make me feel better. It’s hard not to smile when someone’s grinning at you. Okay, I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open now and the words are getting too difficult to write. I probably won’t even be able to read my writing again someday, if I ever want to look back on this–which I doubt. Goodnight.  
Read More

Day 1: life in hell

This is the day I hope to forget. It was just as bad as I imagined. Maybe worse. Mom, dad, Andy, and I piled into the car at some ungodly hour of the morning. They were kind enough to take me to Jenny’s Diner in town for my last meal. I ordered everything. Pancakes, french toast, ham and chese omlette, bacon, sausage, toast, hash browns, orange juice, coffee. Dad huffed loudly at the ridiculousness of it. Mom shuffled to cover her embarrassment as I relayed my meal request to the waitress. But they said nothing–which was a good thing because I was ready with all kind of retort if they had. It was enough food to feed our entire family, rather than my five-foot-two petite frame, but I didn’t care. For once, the waste and the gluttony didn’t matter. I needed consolation for the life in hell I was about to endure. When I was half finished, dad got up and went to wait in the car. Why he was worried about being late when it was me that would take the rap, I had no idea. The waitress came and asked if I would like a box. Mom answered for me. Another smart move. The waitress was probably in her mid-twenties. Just old enough to be free. It wasn’t her fault that soon I wouldn’t be. But I wanted to hate her anyway. I hated everyone today.
Read More